A Peaceful Home Birth ~ Zoe's Story

For the birth of my third child I had decided on a home birth. My birthing team consisted of my husband, my midwife, her assistant and a midwife in training as well as my friend, a massage therapist who had experience very difficult births with her first two children. I wanted her to be a part of my team so that she could see what a peace birth was like. That all the interventions that take place in the hospital were not necessary when both mom and baby are doing fine.

I went into labor the afternoon of June 5th, 1996. It was a beautiful warm sunny day and I spent time in the pool with my older two girls before their grandma came to take them for a sleep over. We had discussed having them present at the birth but they were unsure so they opted for fun time with grandma and grandpa. I called my friend at about 5:00 pm to let her know and make arrangements with her own children. One of the nice things about having a baby at home is that you can eat and drink whatever you want whenever you want! No ice chips for me. We ordered fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy and biscuits. Not exactly a healthy meal but it sure tasted good. :)

The midwife and her crew arrived about 7pm. Everyone settled in for the evening. We had music playing and everyone was relaxed. There weren't monitors and medical interventions. No lying in bed with fetal monitor straps on. It was like a relaxing night with friends over. My contraction became a little more intense by 9:00pm and I decided to float in the pool. If you have ever labored in the water you know floating is an amazing relief from the contractions. After about an hour I got out of the pool and lay down for a bit. My friend was using her awesome skills as a massage therapist to work on my sacrum and low back. Counter-pressure here really takes most of the discomfort away!

By 1:00am I am tired and getting pretty cranky. Which I am when I don't get my sleep, forget being in labor! :) I have a lot of pressure and I want to sit on the toilet to relieve it. I am crying to my husband that I just want to go to sleep. He has a bit of a chuckle at this since I am deep into my labor. This by the way is a really good sign that you are close to being done. When a woman thinks she can't do any more, nature gives her a break and things wrap up quickly. Unfortunately, when it is you who is in labor it isn't easy to see this. For the most part I have a tendency to get quiet and isolate myself when I am nearing the pushing phase. My midwife mistook this to be that I really wasn't in labor or not progressing. I guess she was used to more vocal patients. My friend told her that she thought I was pretty far along and that maybe she should check on me. At a little after 1:30 am she finds that I am fully dilated and ready to push!

Normally great news, I am tired and I don't have any urge to push. My midwife assures me that since the bag of waters still has not broken that often masks any urge to push. She suggests we go ahead and give it a try. With my husband behind me, I am in a supported squatting position. This is such a great position to push. It's comfortable, it opens your pelvis up far more than any other position and you have gravity working with you not against you! About 15 or 20 minutes into the pushing the baby is descending nicely but then all of a sudden, I say, "Oh my God that hurts!" I repeat this over and over for about 60 seconds. Which, in the scheme of things is not a long time at all, but when you are feeling it it seems like a very long time indeed! Everyone is assuring me that everything is fine but my body is telling me something is very different this time around! And sure enough, my little bundle of joy comes out fist first like a little Super Women. She still has this attitude today. At 2:06am June 6th, 1996 Zoe Elise is born. Peaceful and quiet, completely naturally without a tear. She is 7 pounds 15 ounces and 20 inches long. 

Still undecided of her name at birth the midwife asks what we are going to call her. We had not decided yet between Danielle and Zoe. I said this to her and the baby smiles when we say Zoe. So that is it, she has chosen her name. Zoe, the goddess of life, her initials spell ZEN. She will have a truly blessed life indeed. Aside from the 60 seconds of this hurts, because of her fist presenting first, this was a very easy and comfortable delivery. And a huge step towards healing for my friend from her two prior difficult births. I was so glad that I could share this experience with her.....especially since she and I would both go on to have another baby.

This was my first home birth and I had no fears, no thoughts that I couldn't do this. I just knew that this was the better way and I am so glad that I trusted my body's inner wisdom and my baby to have a beautiful peaceful birth. I am grateful to be surrounded by loving people that trusted in my ability, that never once interfered or questioned the process. I hope to be able to help all women find their inner voice, trust and have confidence in the perfection of their design, their birthright to have a beautiful, joyful and peaceful birth.

 "Peace on Earth begins with Peace on Birth." by EOF

A Home Birth Story

After my first two experiences with birth, managed by a doctor, controlled in a hospital, with staff that didn't listen to me, respect me or even consult with me when they tried to perform medical proceedures on my body, as if I didn't have a right to be part of that decision, I desided on a home birth.

Finding the proper care for a home birth then became my challenge. This is a descision that is not encouraged or supported in the general community. After reading dozens of books, researching the internet and talking with many care providers I finally found a qualified home-birth midwife in Tampa. It was a long trip to make every month, but well worth it! The level of care I received from this woman was so far superior to the care I received from my prior OB's. She would spend sometimes up to an hour with me. Home-birth is not something to be taken lightly. This is for a healthy mother with no complications. To ensure that the care you get prenatally is much more indepth. She wants to know not just how much you weight and measure your belly, she wants to know everything you have eaten. Are you getting a proper diet and all the nutrients and water you need. How are you feeling, both physically and emotionally. Is everything at home ok. Home birth is not something you want to do if there is any kind of stress in your home. She had counselors available, a nutritionist that analyzed a weeks worth of my daily diet, and a huge library of birthing, breasfeeding and bonding information available. The care I got through this pregnancy was amazing to me!

It was also during this time that my good friend was pregnant as well. Her first pregnancy ended in an emergency cesarean, the second baby was born a few months before mine after three days of labor, attempts at inducing labor, drugs and a very long drawn out birth. This was a very healthy woman who very much wanted an all natural birth. During my years of reading after my second child, everything she told me about these birth were text book. Each thing the doctors or hospital did to her sent her down a path of more intervention. It was as if by design, the medical community gears all birthing toward the worste case senario, all driven by fear.

I started talking to her about the things that happened through her births. How things could possibly be different with her having more information, more support to help her have her wishes respected. I then asked her to be present at my homebirth. I wanted her to see what a health natural birth could be like without any interference. As a massage therapist, she would be an excellent member of my birth team too! I thought it was important to help erase the negative associations that she had with her prior births. Birth is such an emotional process. By having the tools of knowledge, emotional and physical support and love, the birthing process can be a peaceful and joyous experience.

I got lucky this time!

With my second child I was well read after my experiences having my first in the hospital. I went to the library and read up on natural childbirth. I wanted to use a midwife and looked into a home birth midwife. At the time I lived in Massachusetts and the licensing for home birth midwifes was not was impressive as it was when I came to Florida. These women, although caring and experienced had no formal education and this concerned me. What was of more concern for me was that the closest homebirth midwife was almost an hour away through rough back roads. I was concerned that I would have difficulty getting to my appointments in the harsh Massachusetts winters. Also, would she be able to get to me timely in bad weather? So, living in a small town with limited options I chose again to go with a OB/GYN at another hospital, hoping for a better result.

Having a little more experience and knowledge this time I didn't go to the hospital until I was sure I was well underway. Checked in at the front desk at 2:00pm on March 20, 1994, Vernal Equinox! Got settled in to my room at about 2:30 and the doctor came in to check me. Only 2cm dilated. I was very disappointed and surprised at this. He then casually broke my water without asking. This could have spelled disaster for some women, as 2 cm is very very early in the process and once your water breaks the hospital often puts a "timer" on you to progress or they intervene, either induction, or cesarean. Mother nature (and I swear the Equinox!) had other plans for me. I dilated from 2 - 10 in an hour and a half. I got up to walk thinking I had a long time ahead of me and I only made it half way down the hall, when the contractions hit me so hard my husband had to almost carry me back to the room. I could barely breath.

This was so different from the easy gradual labor I had had before. Rather than support, the nursing staff just kept asking what medications I wanted. "Now's the time for an epidural," they told me. Not knowing what was happening and being so overwhelmed with intense contractions I agreed. Again, I love Mother nature. She now way is this happening. I had the most amazing moment when they had all left the room to get the doctors. I had one very intense contraction and then a moment, a pause, when I could feel my baby move into the birth canal. I looked up at my husband and told him I could feel the baby move down. I was totally calm now. I started to push just a little, holding my breath and bearing down quietly. The nurse came in and said in a very concerned voice, "You aren't pushing are you? Don't do that!" When the anesthesiologist came in the nurse checked me quickly and practically threw him out of the room and shouted for the doctor to get in the room. Unfortunately for me, he did make it in time. Alyssa Nicole was born at 4:02pm after just two hours of me being in the hospital.

The best part of this labor for me was when I was left alone, and had the opportunity to feel what my body was doing and experience the joy of birthing, naturally, without being rushed or critiqued or being fed fear based information. This is when I knew I would never birth in a hospital again!

This is where I began my journey to becoming a birth doula..........

Research on birth and homebirth

So after my first birth experience I began reading everything I could get my hands on about childbirth and that led way to reading everything I could find on homebirth. It became painfully obvious that my doctor either got his MD at K-Mart or just plain didn't care. My daughter was turned posterior, she was facing up when she came out and babies should be facing down. Painful back labor, what I had, is a classic sign of posterior baby. Every book I read stated this very clearly, AND that the mother should be on her side, hands and knees or some other position that gets her off her back! My doctor didn't want to be inconvenienced with such positions. I have no doubt that I could have trimmed at least a full hour off of my pushing phase if I had been allowed to get off of my back.


During this time my very good friend told me her birth story and it made mine look like a walk in the park. Her doctors told her she was overdue, the baby was too big. They tried to induce her by various means. The end result was an emergency cesarean. What was really frightening was that every scenario that she described to me during her threes days of trying to have the baby, was text book. It was like reading Shiela Kitzinger's "Childbirth". Each time the doctors use fear, tell you you can't do this, your late, your baby is too big, they cause stress hormones to be released. These shut down your body's hormones that help labor progress. Even women who are having relatively easy labors but choose to have a "routine" epidural, so they don't have to deal with labor pains are risking cesarean. The epidural drops the baby's heart rate, or the mom's blood pressure, and there you go, another excuse for the doctors to intervene when a little support and patience would have done the trick. 


The entire hospital birthing process is managed like a medical condition. The staff operates based on fear, the worst case scenario and so it becomes very much like a self fulfilling prophecy. Why are women allowed to eat or drink during their labors? Because they might aspirate? Why would they do that unless they were given anesthesia for cesarean? Everything is geared towards that.

Knowledge is power. Know what your body can do. Know what the effects of the decisions that the doctors and nurses make for you are. Make informed choices. When you do this you will be empowered to do the right thing for you and your baby, even if that means choosing a cesarean. It should be your choice, not make for you.


Coming next…. What a little information can do…

How it at all began

I have to confess, I have been an accountant for the past twenty years, so you may ask, "How ever did you come to be a Birth Doula?" It's a good question and goes back quite a ways. I had my first baby over 17 years ago. When I found out I was expecting I went to the local OB/GYN and that was about it for my reseach on what was about to happen to me. Unfortunatelty many young women do exactly the same thing. You just assume that the doctors have your best interest at heart and will do what is best for you and the baby. Then I remember back to when my dad told what assuming does, ~ it makes an "ass of u and me."

Truth be told I was very lucky. I had an easy pregnancy and very easy labor, that is until the doctor got involved. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am and when the doctor checked me at 7:30 I was seven cm dialated. So far so good. My only trouble was the constant back pain. The nurse let me lay on my side and I had pressure on my back and all was well. But the minute the doctor came in he wanted me flat on my back. I instictively just wanted to put my hands down and push up so there wasn't any pressure on my butt. But again, that wasn't convenient for him. This back and forth dragged my pushing phase out to 2 and a half hours. At this point the kind doctor in his infinite wisdom decides it is time for a forcepts delivery. Forget that I have had no pain medication at all. In goes one and my eyes fly open , I bolt upright and scream at him like something out of the "Exorcist!" Needless to say he backed away and let me do what I needed to do on my own. The baby was born 15 minutes later. I don't know if it was because I was finially in a more upright position, or if I needed to get that mad to push or a combination of both. What I do know for certain is that everything that he did to me caused me more pain and slowed my progress. I went home from the hospital very disappointed in him. Then I began to read everything I could get my hands on to figure out what had happened. And that is where my journey began.........




Melanie M. Neumann, LMT
Certified Pregnancy Massage Therapist
Doula
http://www.tampabaymassagetherapy.com/